“Planet of Love”, Richard Siken
Canid girlfriends and bun pals
Kristen Stewart | Glasses Appreciation Post (x)
ambrosia is literally so much like medical cocaine to demigod kids. “here take this, you’ll feel way better instantly. i mean don’t take too much or it’ll kill you horribly but like”
the reason this generation is failing is because we’re not motivated enough to make money. all the people on the dollar bills are dead. they’re not relevant and teens just can’t connect. we need money with memes and beyonce on it
I laugh so much at those homophobes who are into literature and classic stuff because like hey you’re into michelangelo? gAY. you like Virginia Woolf books? totally leSBO. you think oscar wilde is modernist and agree with his philosophies? gAY. you like the iliad? greek mythology? any era of history tbh? GAY GAY TRIPLE GAY. everything you love is covered in gay. all the great writers and musicians and artists you admire were queer as all hell hAH
book covers reimagined: a great and terrible beauty by libba bray
alright you guys have posted some pretty bad jokes on here but not one comes close to this doozy
so there’s a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake. the first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people. the second kingdom is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power, too. the third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army.
the kingdoms eventually go to war over control of the lake, as it’s a valuable resource to have. the first kingdom sends 100 of their finest knights, clad in the best armor and each with their own personal squire. the second kingdom sends 50 of their knights, with fine leather armor and a few dozen squires of their own. the third kingdom sends their one and only knight, an elderly warrior who has long since passed his prime, with his own personal squire.
the night before the big battle, the knights in the first kingdom drink and make merry, partying into the late hours of the night. the knights in the second kingdom aren’t as well off, but have their own supply of grog and also drink late into the night.
in the third camp, the faithful squire gets a rope and slings it over the branch of a tall tree, making a noose, and hangs a pot from it. he fills the pot with stew and has a humble dinner with the old knight.
the next morning, the knights in the first two kingdoms are hung over and unable to fight, while the knight in the third kingdom is old and weary, unable to get up. in place of the knights, the squires from all three kingdoms go and fight. the battle lasts long into the night, but by the time the dust settled, only one squire was left standing - the squire from the third kingdom.
and it just goes to show you that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides